%HTMLlat1; %HTMLsymbol; %HTMLspecial; ]> Why I hate the internet
Roland van Ipen­burg
To be stolen or blogged

Why I hate the in­ter­net

Thurs­day 30 July 2009 21:53

Based on Jes­si­ca's six main cat­e­gories of "op­por­tu­ni­ties for pros­per­i­ty and plea­sure". Or, "You must be new here? I can't be­lieve you ad­mit­ted to work­ing in ad­ver­tis­ing."

Be fas­ci­nat­ed, en­grossed, de­light­ed

As long as it's not NSFW. Nice po­lit­i­cal­ly cor­rect com­pact con­tent that is usu­al­ly viewed dur­ing work hours by me­dia pro­fes­sion­als when wait­ing for a down­load or soft­ware up­date or any­thing with cof­fee. The qual­i­ty isn't that high that you will waste your own time watch­ing it, is it? Or when you come home af­ter a hard day at the plant you'll re­lax and watch a cou­ple of hours of stuff like that? Sure, some of that in­ter­net stuff is nice­ly done, but the fas­ci­na­tion of the in­ter­net is more go­ing on in down­load­ing ter­abytes of pop­u­lar full movies and pr0n through The Pi­rate Bay or some­thing. Not some mid­dle of the road PC RT to show you're in the loop. And even then, if you pro­fes­sion­al­ly need to pro­vide a steady stream of such con­tent you'll re­al­ize soon it's not even enough to fill prime time with it on a dai­ly ba­sis, and it stays pop­u­lar be­cause new gen­er­a­tions are fas­ci­nat­ed, en­grossed and de­light­ed by it, not be­cause a sin­gle per­son is fas­ci­nat­ed, en­grossed and de­light­ed by it again and again. It's some­times good bub­blegum, but still bub­blegum.


Un­til one day you get "I must find this out to­day!". Then you'll soon no­tice most of the in­for­ma­tion on the in­ter­net is use­less crap. It's like that phe­nom­e­non where if you see some­thing in main­stream me­dia that you know a lot about, you'll no­tice they get most of it wrong. And you start to won­der how they will get the sub­jects you don't know much about some­how right? And that's usu­al­ly in an en­vi­ron­ment where peo­ple can get fired for be­ing wrong. On the in­ter­net no­body cares. It might be nice to find a non-cov­ered area in the OpenStreetMap project and fill it, but are you go­ing to main­tain that data? Check it all to see if some­thing has changed every once in a while? There's no glo­ry in that, so why both­er? Just leave it to the peo­ple who are stu­pid enough to use the data and find out it's wrong to up­date it. When the in­ter­net was new all the in­for­ma­tion was up to date, a cou­ple of decades lat­er you're most­ly look­ing at some­thing that's way past it's sell by date.


Cheap, quick, easy? Even if there are thou­sands of movies do­ing about the same thing on the youtube, that doesn't mean about a hun­dred times more peo­ple tried it and failed mis­er­ably. A lot of stuff that might pre­tend to be done by am­a­teurs is done pro­fes­sion­al­ly, semi-pro­fes­sion­al, or by me­dia stu­dents who have all the knowl­edge and re­sources to pull it off. And prob­a­bly in more than one take. The av­er­age in­ter­net user doesn't have a chance, and doesn't have Adobe Premiere skills. And this is close­ly linked to the pre­vi­ous chap­ter. A lot of tu­to­ri­als ad­ver­tise them­selves by claim­ing how easy some­thing is to achieve, but for­get to men­tion the back­ground need­ed to make it easy. And that back­ground usu­al­ly is that you'd have to have writ­ten a tu­to­r­i­al on the sub­ject your­self to see how the tu­to­r­i­al makes it easy. Is there a How­to for your job? Or is your job the only job in the world that can't be cov­ered by a How­to?

Ex­press your­self/build iden­ti­ty/cu­rate your per­son­al­i­ty

Make stuff up. And most peo­ple are bad at mak­ing stuff up. I can't find the quote right now, but it was some­thing like "I use my real name be­cause I don't want to re­veal to much about my­self". I can't hate some­body for what they are, but I can for what they made them­selves to be. Joe Six-pack will prob­a­bly end up with an iden­ti­ty worse than in re­al­i­ty. It's Google who de­cides who you are, not your­self in some pro­file form. And com­ing back to the tu­to­ri­als, you might find some that ex­plain how easy it is to fake what you lis­ten to on last.fm.

Make friends/con­nect

Friends are part of the show­cas­ing of your own iden­ti­ty! That's the most pow­er­ful part! That's how you build your echo cham­ber. Con­nect to peo­ple who share as much as pos­si­ble and don't both­er you with dif­fer­ent views. Friends that you can rely on to an­swer every one of your ques­tions with the an­swer you'd ex­pect. Friends that un­der­stand that deep down you are in an un-hip rur­al or sub­ur­ban ex­is­tence, feel­ing iso­lat­ed and alone, and en­cour­age you to go for that spec­tac­u­lar school shoot­ing. That will show them fucks not to fuck with Frank Si­na­tra!

Have your say/Achieve Change

Well, it's like be­fore a match both teams are pray­ing to have some god let them win. You nev­er hear the losers com­plain about that af­ter the match. And John and Hil­lary didn't have an ac­tive on­line com­mu­ni­ty sup­port­ing them? How do the mem­bers of those com­mu­ni­ties feel about achiev­ing change? About the same as how the peo­ple on the streets of Tehran feel now?

What does this all mean?

Read all the Terms of Ser­vice and the legalese of all the stuff on the in­ter­net you are us­ing to see how lib­er­at­ed you re­al­ly are. You're not pay­ing for those ser­vices be­cause you are not the cus­tomer. You are the prod­uct. You're the pi­ano.

Via mon pe­tit vole.


Book­mark this on De­li­cious

Add to Stum­bleUpon

Add to Mixx!



application away browser buy cool data days different flash game gta html ibook internet linux movie open play playstation possible run screen server side site stuff system train web windows work

Blog Posts (418)

Image Gal­leries

ipen­bug Last.fm pro­file

ipen­bug last.fm pro­file

Fol­low me on Twit­ter

Roland van Ipen­burg on face­book
Lin­ux Regis­tered User #488795
rolipe BOINC com­bined stats


Add to Google

Valid XHTML + RFDa Valid CSS! Hy­phen­at­ed XSL Pow­ered Valid RSS This site was cre­at­ed with Vim Pow­ered by Bri­co­lage! Pow­ered by Post­greSQL! Pow­ered by Apache! Pow­ered by mod­_perl! Pow­ered by Ma­son! Pow­ered by Perl Made on a Mac Pow­ered By Mac OS X XS4ALL This site has been proofed for ac­cu­ra­cy on the VISTAWEB-3000 Creative Com­mons Li­cense
This work by Roland van Ipen­burg is li­censed un­der a Creative Com­mons At­tri­bu­tion-Non­com­mer­cial-Share Alike 3.0 Un­port­ed Li­cense.
Per­mis­sions be­yond the scope of this li­cense may be avail­able at mail­to:ipen­burg@xs4all.nl.